Undervalued

Do you ever feel under valued? I'm sure at one time or another we've been called selfish and this could be for any number of reasons. This isn't usually by strangers, but by people with whom you have a relationship with. Could be a family member, friend, or romantic partner. Over the last 10 years, I've had about two romantic partners and a friend here or there actually tell me that I was selfish. Usually it was because I communicated (to them it was complaining) that a need wasn't being met in the relationship. They usually harped that I wasn't doing anything to meet their needs. The funny thing is that I go above and beyond for my friends when they need me, but it's usually underappreciated. This then leaves me feeling undervalued. This contributes to my depressed mood and leaves me feeling as though I have no one to turn to. Additionally, feeling as though I'm not understood by friends and family also causes this isolation and disconnect. This week, I haven't really been in contact with any of my friends. No phone calls (mostly because I have no desire to talk on the phone, well one phone call actually), very few text messages, an A LOT of time spent by myself. Most people are busy with their other friends and family, so I don't reach out to schedule any time of outings with anyone. I don't think I'd be much company because at the moment, I'm just numb. I don't feel much excitement or interest in anything (Note to my mother: I'm taking my medicine). In any case, part of this is because I've been feeling undervalued. I briefly browsed an article that talked about how depressed people can become selfish because of their narrow view of the world and their inability to take care of themselves and meet their own needs. It's difficult to address the needs and feelings of the people in their lives. It's no excuse. I try to be attentive, but most of the time I just can't deal with myself and be a good friend. I've let a lot of people down. Anyway, just my thought for the moment.